Post by Blumiere on Jun 2, 2007 8:43:07 GMT -5
Description: Have you ever wondered why villains don’t just sell off their worthless minions? They’d get rid of something they don’t want and get money for it. Now, you might think that Bleck wouldn’t be smart enough. Fortunately for him, he was.
Minions are worthless
“…Pleasant. Okay, well…no…”
Count Bleck had good days and bad days. This was one of them, and he wasn’t exactly sure which. His minions seemed to be able to do absolutely nothing. They had not gotten done much of anything on their itinerary, which looked a bit like this:
1. Destroy Mario
2. Destroy Peach
3. Destroy Bowser
4. Destroy Luigi
It was written up by Nastasia, and to Bleck, it seemed very concise. Unfortunately for him, it was obvious that it wasn’t. O’Chunks was having trouble even reading the stupid thing, Mimi was… well… taking the easy road out and calling them ‘meanies’ within earshot of Bleck, and Dimentio…
…Bleck did not enjoy talking about Dimentio.
Bleck had met Dimentio years and years ago, when Bleck was still known as Blumiere. Even then he’d had a bad feeling Dimentio was not all he appeared. And he never seemed to be, what with the hiding in his Dimension D and all that.
…So Bleck did not talk about him. Or to him. Instead, Bleck had decided that day to sell off his minions. “Bleck,” he said to himself, “Bleck, if you do this, Count Bleck will make profit. Plus, Bleck will not have to worry about them. Bleh heh heh.”
However, it proved to be harder than Bleck thought. For starters, he had to lure them all with… mushrooms. Yes, I said mushrooms. To be exact, he lured them with the promise of free, unlimited Shroom Shakes. Bleck knew this was a good idea, and a good idea it was, for all three of his cruddy minions came running to the place he decided to lure them. The place was rather grassy, rather 2-D, and rather blocky. The place where Bleck had decided to set shop was right next to Bestovious’ house; the stupid wizard who’d taught stupid Mario how to flip through stupid dimensions to get to 3-D. He didn’t add a Stupid to 3-D, since 3-D was a very tidy, useful dimension. But that was off topic.
Moments later, Mimi, Dimentio, and O’Chunks were tied and gagged, waiting for some unsuspecting person to come along. Bleck grinned and set up a sign that read:
“Minions for sale
500 coins”
…and he waited.
end
Minions are worthless
“…Pleasant. Okay, well…no…”
Count Bleck had good days and bad days. This was one of them, and he wasn’t exactly sure which. His minions seemed to be able to do absolutely nothing. They had not gotten done much of anything on their itinerary, which looked a bit like this:
1. Destroy Mario
2. Destroy Peach
3. Destroy Bowser
4. Destroy Luigi
It was written up by Nastasia, and to Bleck, it seemed very concise. Unfortunately for him, it was obvious that it wasn’t. O’Chunks was having trouble even reading the stupid thing, Mimi was… well… taking the easy road out and calling them ‘meanies’ within earshot of Bleck, and Dimentio…
…Bleck did not enjoy talking about Dimentio.
Bleck had met Dimentio years and years ago, when Bleck was still known as Blumiere. Even then he’d had a bad feeling Dimentio was not all he appeared. And he never seemed to be, what with the hiding in his Dimension D and all that.
…So Bleck did not talk about him. Or to him. Instead, Bleck had decided that day to sell off his minions. “Bleck,” he said to himself, “Bleck, if you do this, Count Bleck will make profit. Plus, Bleck will not have to worry about them. Bleh heh heh.”
However, it proved to be harder than Bleck thought. For starters, he had to lure them all with… mushrooms. Yes, I said mushrooms. To be exact, he lured them with the promise of free, unlimited Shroom Shakes. Bleck knew this was a good idea, and a good idea it was, for all three of his cruddy minions came running to the place he decided to lure them. The place was rather grassy, rather 2-D, and rather blocky. The place where Bleck had decided to set shop was right next to Bestovious’ house; the stupid wizard who’d taught stupid Mario how to flip through stupid dimensions to get to 3-D. He didn’t add a Stupid to 3-D, since 3-D was a very tidy, useful dimension. But that was off topic.
Moments later, Mimi, Dimentio, and O’Chunks were tied and gagged, waiting for some unsuspecting person to come along. Bleck grinned and set up a sign that read:
“Minions for sale
500 coins”
…and he waited.
end
